If you can be anything in the world ‘Be Kind’ – Learning from this disaster
For Caroline Flack. In another post, I read recently ‘We lost one of the girls’ she was the ultimate girl next door. She was so likeable on screen, she came across outgoing, warm and friendly. But behind that smile, she was hiding a sadness. As the weeks have passed we’ve seen just how much stick she received in the press picking holes in her for having failed relationships and not being married, some of the stuff I couldn’t bare to look at. No bloody wonder so many women feel like they need to be in a relationship to feel validated or married by a certain age to be accepted by social norms.
It hit me hard finding out that Caroline Flack had committed suicide, from someone who has been to that dark moment of the soul to think that you are so worthless, that you might as well not be here, that you don’t have anything left to give is just awful. I am just so grateful for the support I received all those years ago, teamed with the thought of leaving my beautiful son alone was enough to keep me here. Because now I look at the last ten years at all the things I have achieved and the hurdles I have overcome and I can honestly say I am proud of who I am, what I offer and all the memories I have made. Yes, I still have shit days and fleeting thoughts of unworthiness but they are few and far in between lasting minutes not days on end. Now when I meet clients or here stories of people that are going through this pain it breaks my heart, but there is a solution, there is light at the end of the tunnel when you get the right support and help.
For someone who hasn’t got mental health reading this. Imagine you have a recording on loop on a megaphone in your head telling you you are not good enough, pretty enough, people think you’re stupid or everything you do is pointless that is what it’s like to have anxiety or depression from my own experience on the worst days anyway. Imagine having to read comments on yourself daily, from thousands saying the same. No one deserves that so before we post, like or comment on a celebrity lets all keep that in mind. I watched a documentary about Taylor Swift recently Miss Americana, which also made me think these beautiful women that sore into fame basing their self worth from the public’s opinions it’s easy to see why they go so low when they already have confidence issues.
From this awful thing that has happened, we can learn to support each other, stop judging each other so much. Educate ourselves, get humble. Instead of gossiping about each other’s flaws to make us feel superior, reach out, speak to strangers or the person you are thinking is judging you maybe they are really low in confidence but dress it up in some way. What I’ve learned along my journey is if someone comes off as cold they are usually scared, If someone seems angry they are usually sad or frustrated. Look a little closer.
Because of the sad news, it made me think about how I can contribute to ‘Being kind’ I already do a lot in the community offering affordable services to women with low self-esteem or confidence, but I decided to dig a little deeper this month. I will be shining a spotlight on transformational stories showing people that there is a way to see the rainbow after the storm. That the dark cloud passes. I great quote I adore and always picks me up is ‘Some of the best days in our lives haven’t happened yet.’ It really helps me to move past the low moods just that little bit quicker.
I have also added some free tickets to The Healing Rooms, Holistic Festival – The Healing Fest for a few people who really want to explore ways of coping with mental health with a holistic approach as a complement to other suggestions made by doctors, but can’t afford a ticket. T&Cs apply.
Emma was a guest on the 1st of March on my regular show Self Care Sunday speaking about her journey – Living with bipolar.
If you would like to catch the replay sign up here: Self Care Sunday
If you are having suicidal thoughts please talk to someone or call the Samaritans 0330 094 5717