A journey back to love

After attending a women’s circle on Wednesday evening I wanted to share with you my story a little more you can find how I became a holistic therapist and self-love coach HERE. I also wanted to dive a little deeper into the last eighteen months for me. Women’s circles have been an integral part of my healing journey for the past twelve months teaching them once a fortnight True and going a regular Red Tent once a month. 


They are a space to meet other women and learn about best practice for the mind, body and soul surrounded by women of all ages, A ritual dating back thousands of years when women would come together to bleed (which as you know if you spend a lot of time or live with other women usually syncs. )The women would all gather at this time in the village to sew, tell stories and look after each other. A circle ceremony imitating this ancient tradition which opens and connects you to the heart space portal, they are becoming increasingly popular celebrities like Gwyneth Paltrow and Jennifer Anniston swear bye.  


After I got my reiki qualification to become a practitioner, I was invited to my first Red Tent tribe and my first reaction was to not go because I had been thinking of teaching my own meditation circle groups, I didn’t want to tread on anyone’s toes. My corporate head was telling me it’s a conflict of interest if I go. Teamed with some old patterns around women, trusting new women in my life for me had up to that point been a challenge. I had been let down and taken advantage of several times, which the subconscious mind stores and files away waiting to ponce unless we do some work to re-wire and trust again.  

I was pregnant at that time after sadly having an ectopic pregnancy a few months prior, I was over the moon with getting pregnant again so quickly but sadly the baby that was coming in wasn’t ready to get here, I had a missed miscarriage at 12 weeks, finding out at the scan,  I was devastated. In the picture used for this post, I was around seven weeks pregnant with that beautiful soul which didn’t arrive here which now makes me smile rather than make me feel sad.  Although for years I had had a lot of spiritual, physical and mental growth there was still work to be done and still is there is no arrival lounge! We are continually growing and learning on the journey we call life. After the miscarriage, I went back to old toxic ways for a short time after, going back to numbing the pain with drinking, eating sugary treats and isolating.  After self-sabotage for a short few weeks, I decided that I needed to get back to my spiritual practice more than ever. 


I decided to set my alarm clock a little earlier each day to do some reiki meditation. I gave myself a plan to stick to for 30 days including self care, mindfulness and being present in my body. I found a womb clearing and sending love meditation and started to learn about the sacral chakra and roots sending back fragments of past relationships back cutting the cords of the past to heal my womb. I also had some EFT and hypnosis during a session connecting to my womb (whom I call She/her) was very sad and lonely due to a Fallopian tube being removed, daily I started sending her love from my heart, surrounding her with beautiful flowers connecting her to the other fallopian tube to get back into balance. 

During my meditation practice and journaling it came to me to stop separating from other women to join a circle and lead my own circle (when True Essence meditation was born.) I had to let go of the old coding, conditioning that women would let you down. Instantly I loved being part of a circle really learning about the divine feminine energy it helped me tip my scales and balance with how I was showing up in the world. My mean girl (ego) voice got quieter when it came to trusting women. It was still there and still can be but I know how to separate the voice of my loving higher self and mean girl because the higher self always wants what’s best for you and the good of all. 


I have met so many amazing powerful women during this time, I have learned not to compare our stories, or to be fearful of dimming my light to fit in, which is a something I think a lot of women do. People pleasing was also an old outdated pattern which I have to look at and guide others to do so with my practice, listening to what your heart wants, what are your needs which can change from day today. 


At the circle where I shared a grounding, healing, empowering chakra guided meditation. I got very vulnerable and shared this story with my tribe, which brought me to tears of joy with my beautiful baby girl on her way. I don’t know if that would be happening to me right now if I hadn’t connected and trusted women again. Also connecting with my womb it is so powerful if every woman knew its power how different the world could be. 


Thank you for taking the time to read this post, please share if you know someone who would benefit from it. 


If you are going through fertility problems or want to give yourself space to connect with your womb, including if you have had a hysterectomy you would also connect to the root and sacral chakras.


 I do a free clarity call book HERE, I would love to help you or if you just feel called to explore your soul purpose and want to get re-aligned then get in touch I can help. 


Love and Light 

Beautiful ones Laura Beddoe x

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